Thursday, September 24, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Sept 7, 2009
Its about 1:30am here, I got off birth shift around 10pm and have been talking to the girls and my supervisor midwife Carmen all night. We have been studying like crazy and have been completely consumed with birth. Tonight we studied outside in the heat of the night by only candle lights and the sound of crickets. Things have been crazy to say the least. We have our first exam on Wednesday and have so much information to cram into our brains it physically feels impossible! But I know its not, I can feel the Lord making room! haha. Tonight all of us midwives got to vent and cry with each other. After studying, we sat and ate bananas with peanut butter and drank buko juice, and talked about the struggles and hardships that come along with this calling, one that is so hard to express to people looking in. But also the joy and depth of love that seems to pour out of a part of our hearts that we had never recognized before. Why the Lord would entrust us with his people? Two lives at one time even! It leaves us speechless and completely convinced that we are not qualified enough nor strong enough emotionally to take on such a calling. Yet, we are. And we are in it for good whether we think so or not! haha. He is our strength. He is our hope. He is what sustains us and these woman and their babies. He’s just choosing to use our hands and teach us how to do it. My supervisor midwife, Carmen is incredible. I have learned more from her then she knows. She is patient with me, yet firm. She keeps me in line and has taken me under her wing. She is 24 years old and has been a midwife for only four years, and every midwife here will tell you that she is by FAR the best. She has delivered almost 200 babies and can hold her ground! She wears a scarf in her hair at all times, never a stitch of makeup, and is naturally beautiful. She grew up on a farm and milked cows her entire life up until a few years ago. She is strong-willed, yet reasonable, and comforting but also honest. She has challenged me a lot to keep growing and seeking the Lord and to never give in when I feel weak, but to cry, brush off, and keep moving forward! She knows who she is in the Lord and will not let anyone take that away from her. Watching her delivery babies leaves me in awe. every time. Her gentleness. Her confidence and wisdom, I just try to absorb it all before the moment is over and we are on to the next thing. I have learned so much from her and can only hope that I will be half the midwife that she is. She told me tonight about a time when she told the Lord that being a midwife is too much responsibility and that she was going to give it up and go back to the farm. It was about 3 years ago when a woman had walked into the clinic only 23 weeks along and pushing actively. Carmen had no choice but to throw some gloves on and catch this tiny baby. So she did. It fell into her cupped hands and didn’t move. He was limp and pale and lifeless. She held him for a while. She gave him to his mother and she walked out of the clinic and cried. The Lord told her "Carmen, I will never give you too much that it will destroy you. Follow me, still". And she has. Even after seeing such hard things, experiencing life and death to the fullest, she has continued to walk on and follow the Lord with all that she is. She is my teacher for the next two years and I am so blessed by that!
Today, my shift started at 2pm and I walked in the birth clinic with a laboring mom who was fully dilated with her babies head 3cm visible! She was a first time mom and looked faint and weak at this point. So I took a seat on the bed next to the midwife on duty. She is a Filipina Midwife and her name is Atte Elsa. She carries this peace with her like I have never seen before. The woman had been pushing for about 6 hours at this point, in active labor, and the head still remained in the same place, so discerning whether or not to transport her was not an option, we had to. But before we did, the midwife endorsed her to us, the new midwives who had just come on and so normally when we are endorsed patients, we pray first before the new shift comes on. So, having to pray we started praying for her that the baby would descend all the way so she would not have to be transported. The baby dropped all the way the she was crowing within 10min! It was amazing to see the Lord work so fast. She delivered a beautifully pink baby girl! The first baby girl that I have gotten to witness being born here! The first three have all been boys. She named her Ayiesha which means, "rejoice in life"! She was so perfect. Healthy heart tones, breathing, reflexes, everything! And the Mother recovered amazingly well. For being so exhausted from pushing so long she was a fighter and didn’t stop until her first child was out to safety! This birth I got to do much more then I had anticipated. I took all the vitals, charted fetal heart tones during a critical time of the mother pushing, and helped bathe the baby! It is really fun, cause after a while, we encourage the mom to get up and try to use the Ihee or peepee, they call it. And while they are going to the bathroom and being moved to postpartum unit, I get to baby-sit! I cuddled and held her for as long as I could, I loved it!
We also had two transports tonight. One woman came in pushing at 36 weeks gestation, which is pre-term (anything under 37wks) and her contractions were right on top of each other, so we loaded her into the back of the ambulance and took her right away. she was a strong woman, really young, like 21, and didn’t show one ounce of fear, and text messaged the entire way to the hospital, stopping everyone and a while to let out a short breath during the peak of a contraction. really funny actually. We also transported another young woman who had ruptured bag of waters but was not making any progress. She also was young, but I could see the fear in her eyes. She didn’t want to be transported and I don’t blame her, the hospitals here are the LAST place you want to end up. It resembles death to a lot of them. You might as well be taking them to a morgue. We don’t transfer here often, but for some reason every time I am on shift, we have been transporting a lot! makes me wonder sometimes...anyway :)
Things have been moving along, and fast too! I’m learning more then I can keep up with and sometimes I don’t even know when the mental capacity of my brain will go into overload shock and I will go brain dead! haha. But I’m loving it. I can not put into the words how much of an experience this has been already. It goes deeper then deep and this is only the beginning.
Its all for the glory of the Lord and if I do go brain dead, I know He will STILL receive all the Glory!
Its about 1:30am here, I got off birth shift around 10pm and have been talking to the girls and my supervisor midwife Carmen all night. We have been studying like crazy and have been completely consumed with birth. Tonight we studied outside in the heat of the night by only candle lights and the sound of crickets. Things have been crazy to say the least. We have our first exam on Wednesday and have so much information to cram into our brains it physically feels impossible! But I know its not, I can feel the Lord making room! haha. Tonight all of us midwives got to vent and cry with each other. After studying, we sat and ate bananas with peanut butter and drank buko juice, and talked about the struggles and hardships that come along with this calling, one that is so hard to express to people looking in. But also the joy and depth of love that seems to pour out of a part of our hearts that we had never recognized before. Why the Lord would entrust us with his people? Two lives at one time even! It leaves us speechless and completely convinced that we are not qualified enough nor strong enough emotionally to take on such a calling. Yet, we are. And we are in it for good whether we think so or not! haha. He is our strength. He is our hope. He is what sustains us and these woman and their babies. He’s just choosing to use our hands and teach us how to do it. My supervisor midwife, Carmen is incredible. I have learned more from her then she knows. She is patient with me, yet firm. She keeps me in line and has taken me under her wing. She is 24 years old and has been a midwife for only four years, and every midwife here will tell you that she is by FAR the best. She has delivered almost 200 babies and can hold her ground! She wears a scarf in her hair at all times, never a stitch of makeup, and is naturally beautiful. She grew up on a farm and milked cows her entire life up until a few years ago. She is strong-willed, yet reasonable, and comforting but also honest. She has challenged me a lot to keep growing and seeking the Lord and to never give in when I feel weak, but to cry, brush off, and keep moving forward! She knows who she is in the Lord and will not let anyone take that away from her. Watching her delivery babies leaves me in awe. every time. Her gentleness. Her confidence and wisdom, I just try to absorb it all before the moment is over and we are on to the next thing. I have learned so much from her and can only hope that I will be half the midwife that she is. She told me tonight about a time when she told the Lord that being a midwife is too much responsibility and that she was going to give it up and go back to the farm. It was about 3 years ago when a woman had walked into the clinic only 23 weeks along and pushing actively. Carmen had no choice but to throw some gloves on and catch this tiny baby. So she did. It fell into her cupped hands and didn’t move. He was limp and pale and lifeless. She held him for a while. She gave him to his mother and she walked out of the clinic and cried. The Lord told her "Carmen, I will never give you too much that it will destroy you. Follow me, still". And she has. Even after seeing such hard things, experiencing life and death to the fullest, she has continued to walk on and follow the Lord with all that she is. She is my teacher for the next two years and I am so blessed by that!
Today, my shift started at 2pm and I walked in the birth clinic with a laboring mom who was fully dilated with her babies head 3cm visible! She was a first time mom and looked faint and weak at this point. So I took a seat on the bed next to the midwife on duty. She is a Filipina Midwife and her name is Atte Elsa. She carries this peace with her like I have never seen before. The woman had been pushing for about 6 hours at this point, in active labor, and the head still remained in the same place, so discerning whether or not to transport her was not an option, we had to. But before we did, the midwife endorsed her to us, the new midwives who had just come on and so normally when we are endorsed patients, we pray first before the new shift comes on. So, having to pray we started praying for her that the baby would descend all the way so she would not have to be transported. The baby dropped all the way the she was crowing within 10min! It was amazing to see the Lord work so fast. She delivered a beautifully pink baby girl! The first baby girl that I have gotten to witness being born here! The first three have all been boys. She named her Ayiesha which means, "rejoice in life"! She was so perfect. Healthy heart tones, breathing, reflexes, everything! And the Mother recovered amazingly well. For being so exhausted from pushing so long she was a fighter and didn’t stop until her first child was out to safety! This birth I got to do much more then I had anticipated. I took all the vitals, charted fetal heart tones during a critical time of the mother pushing, and helped bathe the baby! It is really fun, cause after a while, we encourage the mom to get up and try to use the Ihee or peepee, they call it. And while they are going to the bathroom and being moved to postpartum unit, I get to baby-sit! I cuddled and held her for as long as I could, I loved it!
We also had two transports tonight. One woman came in pushing at 36 weeks gestation, which is pre-term (anything under 37wks) and her contractions were right on top of each other, so we loaded her into the back of the ambulance and took her right away. she was a strong woman, really young, like 21, and didn’t show one ounce of fear, and text messaged the entire way to the hospital, stopping everyone and a while to let out a short breath during the peak of a contraction. really funny actually. We also transported another young woman who had ruptured bag of waters but was not making any progress. She also was young, but I could see the fear in her eyes. She didn’t want to be transported and I don’t blame her, the hospitals here are the LAST place you want to end up. It resembles death to a lot of them. You might as well be taking them to a morgue. We don’t transfer here often, but for some reason every time I am on shift, we have been transporting a lot! makes me wonder sometimes...anyway :)
Things have been moving along, and fast too! I’m learning more then I can keep up with and sometimes I don’t even know when the mental capacity of my brain will go into overload shock and I will go brain dead! haha. But I’m loving it. I can not put into the words how much of an experience this has been already. It goes deeper then deep and this is only the beginning.
Its all for the glory of the Lord and if I do go brain dead, I know He will STILL receive all the Glory!
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