He Loves with an OUTRAGEOUS LOVE!

Kayla, Julie and I were sitting on the wall of the pier at Magsaysay Park one afternoon, dangling our feet over the edge of the water and talking pictures of some little kids playing in the water when this man approached me and asked us if we would be interested in buying any of his jewelry. He was selling a few pieces of jewelry, not much, just some pearl necklaces and earrings and some copper and silver bracelets. I wasn’t really interested in buying anything and said no thank you and then asked “Unsa imong naglan?” “what is your name?” to the man, and he told me “Salamat” which means thank you in Visayan! I saw something in his face, some little bit of hope rising up in him and it was so evident that the Holy Spirit was starting to speak. The man had the face of a servant, a gentle hearted servant and Jesus’ love was all over him. He was old, with deep wrinkles and missing teeth, and yet so beautiful and precious to the Lord. He looked as if he had lived a long, hard life, but did the best with what he was been given. He looked hungry and tired. I didn’t know his story of where he came from but I knew that he had to know that God loves him with an outrageous love. I really didn’t want to buy anything, I was running out of money and time and nothing of his really stood out to me, but it was so evident the desperation in his eyes. At this point, it wasn’t about the jewelry, or money, it was about love and something more, and he knew it, he knew we had something else that he wanted….not money…but, JESUS, the Name above all Names….JESUS!
So…after he half-heartedly talked me into buying a pair of pearls earrings and a few bracelets I asked him “Magampo ka?” if we could pray for him? He said “yes! Yes!” As if he had been waiting for it! Expecting it! So, laying a hand on his shoulder, he closed his eyes and the Spirit of God came down upon him…like a wave…it washed over him and Jesus touched him…. His love came pouring out, almost knocking the both of us over! And we stood there for a minute, basking in the Lord’s peace and in awe of what just happened. I opened my eyes to see what was happening. Salamat had his eyes closed and his hands open down by his waist. He looked like a little child, deep wrinkled and weary and yet like a little child, waiting to receive what his Papa God had to give him, and realizing at the same time that he deserved nothing. After a few more minutes, the man looked up and smiled and he had such light in his eyes!! He thanked us again and walked away, not sure what to do with what just happened! Haha! A few minutes later, we where piled back on the jeepney (bus) waiting to take off back home when the man came up to the window behind us and got our attention. I turned around and through the window, he handed me a pair of pearl earrings, beautiful pearl earrings, probably his best set, and he shook his hands as to pay him nothing in return. He was smiling ear to ear and wanting nothing in return for them! To him, the Lord had just changed his life, changed him by showing him His love for him, and Salamat knew he would never be the same. And even though he didn’t have much, just a few pieces of jewelry, yet he wanted to give back to the Lord his finest pair as a thank you to Him. He had NOTHING to give back to God and yet it was EVERYTHING! The man walked away, knowing he was loved. All of us drove home in the back of the jeepney in awe of Salamat’s gratefulness to the Lord. No wonder his name means ’Thank You!” Oh how the Lord delighted in this man! What an outrageously loving God we have!!!

I miss my monkey!

I love you Colby! I miss you!

Baby Boy Rike Lelouch....Assist number 7!! Baby number #22!

Is was around 12:15pm and I was sleeping deeply on night shift. It was quiet and still in the birth room. All the lights were out and only the light of the moon coming in through the windows, filled the birth room, giving all the empty beds a warm glow. All the midwives were asleep, and I remember thinking before I fell asleep, “this is going to be a good night! I’m feeling good Lord, so anytime you are ready, bring on the babies!”….then I rolled over and passed out.
The gate opened and a beautiful pregnant mama (G3/P2) named Maria Angela came in fully dilated and ready to push! Within a matter of seconds...every midwife had jumped off the bamboo couches, flipped on the lights and led her to the birth bed. Except for me...the assist...who apparently hasn't mastered the skill of keeping "one eye open" in the birth room! I was still happily sound asleep, probably drooling and dreaming of only Lord knows what, while the midwives where running past me, grabbing supplies and every time calling louder, "Tiara! Miss Tiara! wake up! wake up!" It wasn't until I heard "BOW (bag of waters) 2 cm visible without pushing." That I woke up in an instant, ran over to the counter, threw on gloves and threw open the curtain, just making it in time as the baby boy's body came sliding out! His mom yelled “Hallelujah! Thank you Jesus!!” As he came out! Haha, I bet she was so thankful that it was over! Half asleep, I grabbed a towel and bulb suction and wiped away the membranes from his face and dried his tiny new body, then suctioned his mouth and nose a few times to remove any mucous and membranes that could constrict his small airways. He was a beautiful baby boy! Looking around at everyone the second he opened his brown eyes. I gave him APGARS of 8 (-1 for color/-1 for muscle tone) and 9 (-1 for color) as he was a little cyanotic until about 6 minutes after birth. It wasn’t until after I had clamped the cord and the bana had cut it, that I looked down and realized that I had NO shoes on! I forgot to put them on in the hustle of the whole situation! Haha. Omg! The Lord really does call us to things that are beyond us! Haha!
Jane, the midwife who caught baby Rike, and I did a head to toe newborn exam and took his footprints. He weighed 6lbs 6oz and was incredibly aware of everything going on around him and was so attentive to us examining and palpating his little body. He had slight molding along his sagittal sutures (overlapping of his parietal bones during birth from pressure and pushing, which is very normal), and he was 48cm long! A short little guy! Wide eyed and awake, he talked to us through the entire exam! He was so so so cute!! I couldn’t get enough of him! His mama laughed as he made funny cooing noises and looked over at her every time she would call his name. He knew her voice! All in all it was an amazing birth and I must say it was SO worth waking up to! :)

I have gotten to assist with four births already! They were simple, beautifully normal births and so rad! I got to give APGAR scores and do vitals on baby right away, bulb suction baby, and finally feel important in there, haha. Things have been really good, just studying a lot and being with the people here. The Lord is breaking my heart more and more for them. He loves them so much.
I went running this morning early by myself to the market and I ran by a lot of people sitting on the road, so dirty, so broken, begging for food, and all I could do was smile at them but I wanted so badly to tell them that I loved them. That Jesus loves them and so do I. That I cared and I wanted to sit in the dirt with them and visit with them, but I couldn’t, I just kept running by. I just kept running.....I couldn’t stop, I know if I did, I would not leave. I don’t even know why I didn’t, but I didn’t. what good does a smile do? they are hurting so bad, they need love, hugs, someone to listen to them. that SOMEONE loves them, anyone. anyone at all. another humans company. any human contact, connection, love, anything! they are not trash, they are beloved children of the Living God! Christ died for their sins too, they get to have life abundantly too! they get to inherit His kingdom too! He has not overlooked them. even though everyone else does, even myself, everyone that just keeps jogging by....and jogging, and never stopping, afraid that they might get dirty or sick or whatever.

I don’t want to run by anymore, I don’t want to. there was this woman, sitting outside the catholic church that I go to, she was on the ground and I saw her talking to herself and rocking back and forth, in her own world, super dirty, filthy, sitting on a piece of wet cardboard, her clothes all stained and torn, her hair was all matted and gross. she looked whacked out of her mind, really and truly insane. I passed by her and she looked up at me, her eyes so desperate for someone. I made eye contact with her and smiled and said mayyao buntag! good morning! and she looked at me, she snapped out of it, someone made a connection with her, and she stopped rocking, stopped talking to herself, and she became human with another human for that tiny moment. she was waiting for the next thing, more talking, maybe I would stop and visit, maybe something. And, then I just kept running....and I didn’t look back...and I could feel her eyes looking at me, hungry for love, attention, anything! and I kept running....... it must hurt the Lord so much. so much. The next time, I will stop.

I know the Lord is doing so much right now in all of our lives, it seriously blows me away. He is so faithful. He is our strength and refuge. I really don’t know what I would do without Him, I can not live or breath or move or have my being, none of us can.
There is supposed to be another huge monsoon hitting here again, please pray for families and their homes. There is so much desperation here and the Love of Jesus is here, even stronger just waiting to be received. He is waiting with His whole heart open and exposed to His people here. I think they are so humble and have such a fear of the Lord that they don’t know how to come to Him, fearing that He is mad at them for their sin and brokenness, they are ashamed, and so He comes to them, He walks over to them and embraces them....their sin and all. and they fall in love with Him.

The other morning, like around 6am Kayla, Jenna and I went running and ran to the open market to take fruit home with us. In the market, we were completely overwhelmed with begging little kids. The kids had scabs and open sores all over them, missing hair, no shoes, snotty, and big bloated bellies and were touching us and reaching for the food we just bought telling us "humto ka! humto ka!" I am hungry! I am hungry! They were water gypsy kids and their moms would stand back and tell to go beg the white people. There were people crowding in on us from every direction asking for food and to touch them, it was making me physically sick, it was so overwhelming and we felt like we couldn’t breath....and I asked the Lord, "what Lord? what do I do with this? you love your people, let me love them right now. they are desperate" Then we began to lay hands on them and pray for them and the spirit of the Lord took over...they did not see us anymore.....is was Jesus in the flesh and spirit...they got to meet Him, some for the first time. We didn’t even have to speak, He did all the talking….it was silent and yet you could see Him speaking to their hearts. Our hands became His, our faces.. His face. We disappeared completely. It was so beautiful to see the Lord respond to their needs...He came, and filled them.
He reminds me everyday why we are here....He keeps us on our toes!! haha. actually, I don’t know what I am talking about, He knocks me on my butt everyday! Awww! I love following Him, through it all, the pain and blindness, its all worth it, to see even ONE PERSON be touched and changed by the living God!
I’m going with Julie, my housemate to a Muslim village soon to do some prenatal check ups on some Muslim women. We have to dress really covered up, long sleeves, long skirts… to not stand out, even though they know we are Christians, they don’t like Christians and wont let them in their village but because we are midwives and they call us "doktoras" they let us in. I know the Lord is preparing the way ahead of us...I can feel it, His spirit doing things already, preparing hearts already. I cant wait to see what the Lord is up to in this village with these people that he loves so deeply.

A baby with no name and a nucal cord X3!!

My first continuity patient birth! Midwife Joy and I had her for a few prenatals and then got to deliver her gorgeous little baby boy! It was really funny, the mama named Julie, pronounced "July" was so sweet and talkative. When she first came in, at around 12:30pm, I got a text from Joy to come on over to the clinic, so I came and she was 8cm dilated, 70% effaced and wasnt too active at this point. Once she wanted to start pushing, we said ok, and she gave one little push with her next contraction and said "is it over? Is baby out now? " haha. We said "uh, not quite!" Not more then 20 mins later, baby boy was crowing, then head out, then all 6lbs. and 14oz, came flying out! He had a nucal cord, wrapped around his neck twice and once around his arm and back, pinning his arm against his back. He was a little acrosynosis at birth because of lack of oxygen, but did so well! and recovered pretty fast, crying really strong and loud. APGAR scores of 7 and 9. He was making his mama laugh so hard at the noises he was making! He sounded like a pigglet and talked so much, even while bathing him, he was cooing and sighing and talking! so so cute. He looked exactly like his papa, who couldnt be there for the birth because he had to leave to go to work, but he came back after we had moved her to post-partum and he just stared at his baby boy and smiled...for a long time, falling in love with him. Before sending them home, Joy and I prayed for them and the Lord poured out so much on them, I could see Him lifting them up into His love, covering them, giving them peace and rest....He is so faithful and loving. It still leaves me in awe....why He allows us to be a part of His love people and miracle of life, I dont think I will ever fully understand...it runs so deep, so much love, so much mercy and passion for His people. GOD is GOOD!