I have gotten to assist with four births already! They were simple, beautifully normal births and so rad! I got to give APGAR scores and do vitals on baby right away, bulb suction baby, and finally feel important in there, haha. Things have been really good, just studying a lot and being with the people here. The Lord is breaking my heart more and more for them. He loves them so much.
I went running this morning early by myself to the market and I ran by a lot of people sitting on the road, so dirty, so broken, begging for food, and all I could do was smile at them but I wanted so badly to tell them that I loved them. That Jesus loves them and so do I. That I cared and I wanted to sit in the dirt with them and visit with them, but I couldn’t, I just kept running by. I just kept running.....I couldn’t stop, I know if I did, I would not leave. I don’t even know why I didn’t, but I didn’t. what good does a smile do? they are hurting so bad, they need love, hugs, someone to listen to them. that SOMEONE loves them, anyone. anyone at all. another humans company. any human contact, connection, love, anything! they are not trash, they are beloved children of the Living God! Christ died for their sins too, they get to have life abundantly too! they get to inherit His kingdom too! He has not overlooked them. even though everyone else does, even myself, everyone that just keeps jogging by....and jogging, and never stopping, afraid that they might get dirty or sick or whatever.

I don’t want to run by anymore, I don’t want to. there was this woman, sitting outside the catholic church that I go to, she was on the ground and I saw her talking to herself and rocking back and forth, in her own world, super dirty, filthy, sitting on a piece of wet cardboard, her clothes all stained and torn, her hair was all matted and gross. she looked whacked out of her mind, really and truly insane. I passed by her and she looked up at me, her eyes so desperate for someone. I made eye contact with her and smiled and said mayyao buntag! good morning! and she looked at me, she snapped out of it, someone made a connection with her, and she stopped rocking, stopped talking to herself, and she became human with another human for that tiny moment. she was waiting for the next thing, more talking, maybe I would stop and visit, maybe something. And, then I just kept running....and I didn’t look back...and I could feel her eyes looking at me, hungry for love, attention, anything! and I kept running....... it must hurt the Lord so much. so much. The next time, I will stop.